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Writer's pictureSheil Seclearr

The Gifts of Golf: You don't need to play like a pro to enjoy them


That mind and life became more full as the years passed. Marriage and raising a son were joyfully added to my plate of responsibilities. My clubs gathered dust in the basement. Golf, I thought, took way too much time, to learn and to play well. I just didn’t see the point in chasing around a little white ball. But my first husband played every time he got a chance, with his dad, brother, friends, and co-workers. I used to complain, calling myself a weekend golf widow. Sometimes I was even jealous but if I was honest with myself, I would have just admitted that golf was his passion but not mine, at least not at the time.


Fast forward twenty-five years, I was re–married, my son was out on his own, I had run a business and then sold it, cared for my parents until they passed, and my canine companion of sixteen years rested in peace. I was an empty nester, graced with life’s biggest luxury, a little extra time on my hands. After having been so busy, it felt oddly unnerving. I took long walks, journaled, and questioned myself for weeks. Then, one morning as I was sitting outside drinking a cup of coffee and listening to the birds chirp, this voice in my head whispered, golf.  


I shook my head and said, “What?” Then I heard it again. Golf. Let me remind you, I hadn’t picked up a club in over two decades.


“I give you two months. You’ll get bored,” Tim laughed when I announced my new plan.


I was quick to defend myself, pointing out how he used to enjoy the sport. My son Lou was a golf fanatic, playing golf every chance, he got. It would be a good way to reconnect with him.


“It could be something we could do together, on the weekend.” I said, knowing it would be good for Tim and get his nose out of his phone.


“Maybe. That might be fun.” I could tell he was thinking about it but then his cell phone beeped, a text distracting him immediately.


That was it for me. I needed a new hobby and we both needed quality time with each other, far away from technology. Golf seemed to be the answer. I must have been psychic because six months later, Covid hit and we all know what happened after that. I won’t tell you golf saved our lives, but it might have saved our marriage.


When times got tough, we played golf: nine holes late in the afternoons and on weekends. We were not good players and we didn’t care. Tim smacked the ball a country mile, but it was a challenge to find it. On the other hand, I could hit the broad side of a barn, but it had to be close. Distance wasn’t my strong suit, but most of my shots were straight. Tim was a darn good putter, which amazed both of us. If we kept score, it was to compete with each other to see who was more pathetic than the other. I called our game ‘hit and giggle’. We laughed at ourselves and at each other. And life didn’t seem so completely hopeless.


The following year, in 2021, a record 3.2 million people played golf for the first time. Evidently, we weren’t alone. People had to find a new way to socialize, exercise and keep their sanity. Suddenly golf didn’t seem as intimidating. Men and women, young and old were willing to face their fear of a swing and a miss if it meant spending a few hours outside in a germ-free environment with family or friends. And the sport has not shown signs of declining.


If you’re ready to give it a try or you feel too rusty to get out there and play, The Family Golf and Learning Center in Kirkwood is a fantastic resource for all ages and skill levels. Their professionals can take you from beginner to tournament player. All it takes is a few lessons on the driving range and short game area, then it’s up to you. There’s even a 9-hole Par 3 that’s perfect for practice. No clubs? No problem! Clubs are available, allowing you the opportunity to experience the sport before you invest in your own equipment. And when that time comes, FGCL sells complete sets plus all the appropriate gear in their pro shop. For those ready to commit to the sport, custom club fittings are available as is a full fitness facility. Sixty TurfHound hitting bays, Trackman Simulators, and the Scoring Lab provides year-round access to practice before you head out on the links.


Don’t let pre-game jitters get the best of you. A friend and golf pro recently told me, “Other people are not worried about your game; you are worried about your game.”


That was a real game changer for me. And the more I talk to professionals, the more relaxed I become. People really don’t care about how you play. They just want you to keep up the pace; fifteen minutes per hole is a good time to aim for. And if you are having a bit of bad luck, spending too much time hacking away in the sand or playing seek-and-never-find your ball, just simple move on. Yes. That is a thing.


No one cares about your score either. They only care if you take too long to play a hole. So, forget the lost ball, forget the ten strokes, just pick up the ball and head to the next tee box. No shame!


Armed with this enlightening information, there is no reason not to head out to a local public course. Ruth Park, Creve Coeur Park and Ballwin Golf Courses are great choices for 9-hole play. Forest Park is a favorite on a sunny spring day for a quick nine or a more leisurely eighteen. Eagle Springs in North County offers a Par 3 9-hole course and an 18-hole championship course, short and straight-forward, good for beginners as well as more seasoned players. To the South you’ll find the scenic Pevely Farms with sweeping views of the Meramec Valley, suitable for all skill levels. One of the best championship courses, seated in a stunning setting overlooking the Missouri River, is the Tom Fazio designed Missouri Bluffs Club in St. Charles County. In Illinois, Gateway National and Annbriar are a few of the many courses worth the journey.


Resort golf has become extremely popular. My husband and I recently visited The Ritz Carlton Reynolds Lake Oconee, a golf-centric property located in Greensboro, Georgia, just 45 minutes from Augusta, famous for The US Masters Golf Tournament. This recently refurbished lakeside property is a golfer’s paradise. Stay and play; the lodge perfectly melds nature and contemporary luxury. Guest rooms are well-appointed with soak worthy tubs, decks or patios with peaceful Waldon Pond-like views, some with gas fire pits. You might not want to leave your abode, but you should.


This Ritz Carlton property is unique. While catering to golfers (five courses to choose from), it also curates a plethora of activities you won’t want to miss. It’s camp for kids and adults, including pickleball, tennis, cornhole, basketball, campfires on the beach, and in warmer months, every water sport known to man. Year round, Sand Creek Sporting Grounds delivers 800 acres of adventure: shooting and archery challenges, off-road excursions or grab a rod and reel and go fish. Sometimes kids just want to have fun with other kids, and the Ritz Kid’s program forges new friendships with science and nature-oriented activities.


Desperately seeking serenity? You will find it in the meticulously renovated 27,000 square foot spa, opening in May. Poised as a holistic wellness experience, guests are invited to rest and renew in this nature-inspired sanctuary. Relax in the steam and jacuzzi or indulge in a massage, facial, body work and/or fitness classes. So many treatments and so little time, which you will need, if you want to play golf.


Each one of the five golf courses are truly gorgeous, pristine, and immaculately maintained. Luckily, the team at the sporting desk are extremely knowledgeable about course details and will assist with Tee-times. The Preserve is a good choice for beginners; The National is the most challenging. If you are like me, every course is pretty challenging, so I asked which course best highlighted the natural beauty of the area. My golf guide suggested the Oconee and it did not disappoint. The combination of woodlands, shoreline, and streams made for a fairy tale-like setting. Deer nibbled on the indigenous plantings. The rows of budding pink rhododendrons and azaleas were a feast for the eyes, a master gardener’s dream. My golfer’s wish list also included a course with views of the water; an easy choice, was Great Waters. All I can say is bring a lot of balls. You will need them but who cares? The lake wraps around the back nine and was so spectacular, it’s worth every splash. And who’s keeping score? It’s about who you’re with, not how you’re playing!


Yet if you are interested in taking your game to the next level, for play with others or simply for the pleasure of challenging yourself, The Kingdom of Golf, located on the property, is the only manufacturer based, tour-level fitting facility in the country open to the public. That’s a big deal. This Taylor-Made facility has THE latest and greatest technology. Their team of professionals uses these tools while digging deep into your inner golfer, also considering how often you play, your skill level and physical details while fitting you for one club or an entire set. A master club craftsman will then build your said club(s) on-site the same day. Talk about instant gratification. Then practice in the putting lab or take it outside to the 6-hole practice course. Guests of the Ritz Carlton can experience a few hours of instruction or create a golf retreat, a multi-day submersion for putting, short game, or full game improvement.


Food for thought: there are three dining venues on the property and Amore del Lago stole the show. Chef Andrea Rodella brings his family recipes and traditions to the table creating authentic, Italian fare. Everything is prepared with the finest and highest quality ingredients; the open kitchen concept is reminiscent of Sunday dinners to be enjoyed with family and friends. The Chicken Cacciatore was excellent, as was the house-made pasta. The wood-fired pizza was the best we’ve had this side of Tuscany. The crust was paper thin yet crisp, with just the right amount of sauce and mozzarella cheese. I’d drive the 10 hours just to eat that pizza again. The perfect ending to our great golf adventure.


Before we left, we coincidently ran into the pro at The National course, Alex Hart, a St. Louis native and 2019 Chaminade College Preparatory school graduate. I asked him why he plays golf.


“No day is the same out on the course. I can hit a really bad shot then the next shot is much better. I’ve made the best of a bad situation. It makes me feel better.” He pauses, searching for words.


“Builds your confidence, self-esteem,” I interject.


“Yes. Exactly. Or I might have a couple of bad holes, want to pick up my ball and quit. But you don’t want to do that. Ever. You go on and keep playing.” A beat. “It’s a little bit like life, I guess,” he laughs.


I laugh too but think – wow, profound insight from a fairly young man.


Such is the game of golf, filled with unexpected gifts, life lessons, time with family and friends, in partnership with and in the presence of nature. And you certainly do not need to play like a pro to enjoy them.

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